Sometimes I want nothing more than to be loved.
But not in a “let me kiss you” way,
But more in a “stay with me, because I need you way”.
Sometimes I need more than your “I love you”.
Sometimes I need, “I need you.”
I need you to hold me.
Not because it’s our routine,
But because if you don’t,
I’m afraid the hands will pull me down under,
and I need you to anchor me.
I don’t need you to tell me “smile. It’ll get better.”
I need “go ahead and cry. It’s okay, to not be okay”
I need you to understand that more often than not, I won’t be okay.
That after 9 pm. I become I hopeless mess that will need constant reassurance that you love me, without having to ask for it
That when I say nothing wrong,
It will mean everything is.
That sometimes I will cry over nothing,
and I will cry over everything.
That even when I tell you to go away,
I will want nothing more than to have you stay.
I will need you to love me when I am unbearable.
I will need you to love me when I cannot love myself."